i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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