you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
