I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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