quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
