dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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