why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
