I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
