Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
