Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
