I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Farmville is her only friend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
