so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
