Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
