thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
