After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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