Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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