Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
