I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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