Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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