im drinking this country out of the recession.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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