Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
