I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
