I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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