Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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