Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
