would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
