Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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