She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
