dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
