The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
