my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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