I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
