is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
