Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
