dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
