in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
