NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
