singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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