whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
