my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
