I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
