Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
