it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize