the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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