so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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