You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
