That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
