So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
