There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize