They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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