mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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