Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
