can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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