he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
