420 ftw
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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