physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize