so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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