He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
