Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
