Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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