no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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