Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
