I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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